


If Only

by alwaysbringbackup_03



Series: Death may try and conquer, but it is not the end! (A Supercorp series) [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Everybody needs a damn hug, F/F, Heavy Angst, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara makes a hell of a sacrifice, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena is Kara's kryptonite confirmed, Reign Dies, Sam Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbringbackup_03/pseuds/alwaysbringbackup_03
Summary: The costs of defeating Reign are high. No one knows that more than Kara and Lena.





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

> All the angst between Kara and Lena has broken me. I wanted to write something to make it better, and instead wrote something infinitely worse.
> 
> **Note: This work has been edited as of 11/26/18. With all the newfound attention that this story is getting, I have decided to edit some things.
> 
> ***Also, I'm currently working on a continuation/update of this story, which I will post as a separate work. I will connect them together via a collection (although I haven't decided what I'm going to name it yet). I will keep you guys posted, and will post a link to my Tumblr as soon as I post it! Thanks for all of the ongoing love and support! You guys are awesome and mean the world to me! :)

I _still remember my name_  
_But I've forgotten my royal mistakes_  
_If only_  
_I could go back in time_  
_When you were a friend of mine_  
_If only_  
_We were just a little less tired and true_  
_You were being you, and I was being too human_  
_But who was I fooling_  
_Oh if only_

J’onn’s strangled cry was carried to Kara through the darkness, just as she finished off another one of Reign’s compatriots and they dropped to the ground in front of her with a dull thud. Kara's head snapped towards the sound, as if by pure reflex alone. The sound of pain in his voice left little doubt. The hair at the back of Kara's neck instantly stood on end, as the pit of her stomach dropped. The ominous feeling that settled over her then, was nearly suffocating. J’onn was in desperate need of her help. Kara could see him lose the upper hand against Reign, and she knew then that she needed to intervene quickly, or J’onn would die. The sounds of the ongoing fight carrying on in the streets around her, both drowned and overwhelmed her. She felt a tension build in her spine and a sudden headache build behind her eyes. Her vision glowed red hot for a moment, and Kara had to blink it away.

There was so much going on around her that Kara didn’t know how to prioritize what she needed to do. It was a free-for-all at its best, and absolute chaos at it's worst. The bodies of DEO agents littered the ground as far as she could see, remaining where they fell. Heavy casualties had been exacted on both sides. Most were too badly hurt to move. Kara could only hope that they were strong enough to pull through their injuries. She didn't know if she'd be able to live with their deaths on her conscience.

Kara let out a weighted breath, and squeezed her eyes shut. She honed in on the singular sound of a heartbeat that was nearly a block away. She could hear the steady thrum of Lena’s heartbeat in her ears. For a moment, she let herself revel in the sound, and rejoice in what it meant, And yet, it still didn’t stop her from worrying about her best friend. Their surroundings were wrought with hazards and destruction, as an all out war between Reign, the Worldkillers, and the DEO raged on around her.

Kara's eyelids flickered back open. There was no time to lose, and Kara had already selfishly wasted precious seconds. Kara turned towards where Alex stood battling Pestilence. Somehow, she managed to catch her sister's gaze.

For the first time in her life, Kara was not above asking for help, “Alex, get Lena out of here! I have to go help J'onn!.”

The brunette gave Kara a singular nod, and Kara knew that her sister would take care of it. Alex had never let Kara down, and Kara knew that Alex was not about to start now. Without missing another beat, Kara flew towards where Reign had J’onn pinned against the concrete, with an axe held above his head. She was poised as if to bring it down on the man below. And Kara knew that she had to get there before Reign brought it down. Kara gathered speed, blowing out the windows to either side of the street as she sped towards them faster than she’d ever flown before. She crashed into Reign’s midsection with all the force of a bulldozer, knocking her backwards. The axe flew from Reign's hands and tumbled in large arc, before it fell and it lodged itself deeply in the pavement several football fields away. With Reign still in her hold, Kara flew upwards into the sky, high over the skyscrapers and the buildings below. She flew, hastily climbing upwards through the atmosphere until she could feel the air getting thin. She coughed, as the lack of oxygen forced her lungs to burn. The wind roared in her ears, but Kara could still hear the loud sounds of the fighting going on below.

"Is this your plan?" Reign laughed in Kara's ear. 

"Maybe," Kara replied bravely.

"You do realize that you're just as likely to die from hypoxia as I am?" Reign pointed out.

"Some sacrifices are _worth it,_ " Kara spoke with a clench of her jaw.

"You're determined," Reign chuckled. "I'll give you that. But you'll never defeat me, Supergirl. The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. I said it before, and I'll say it again if I have to. It was unwise to try and stand in my way."

"Do you honestly think that I would ever surrender the world to you?" Kara shot back. "Because if you do, you'll be sorely disappointed. If you want _this_ _world_ , you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead, hands."

“Well, that can be arranged,” Reign told her as she produced something from her uniform. Kara didn’t even have a chance to stop her as she pulled the pin out of the grenade in her hand. Kara’s eyes went wide as she recognized it for what it was. It was one of the Kryptonite grenades Lena designed back in her lab at L-Corp. Before Kara could even react, the explosive detonated right in Reign’s hand. They were blown apart in mid-air. The concussive blast knocked Kara out cold, and she tumbled lifelessly from the sky, plummeting faster than what could be considered terminal velocity. 

“Supergirl!” Alex screamed, as she saw the explosion and the ever growing cloud of bright green filling up the sky. “Supergirl, answer me!” Alex had just pulled Lena to her feet, and had an arm wrapped around the taller woman’s waist, when she heard the deafening explosion and looked up. The younger woman was still pretty out of it, but Lena's eyes were open at least. Lena, too, seemed to hear the explosion, and looked up into the sky as she searched for the source of the loud echoing explosion. It was like a canon going off, only it was exponentially worse, its force amplified to the point where it very nearly ripped open the fabric of reality. Ripples from the detonation actually tore through the sky. And Lena watched it all unfold with a look of absolute horror on her face. It didn’t take long before they found the silhouette of a body enshrouded in a red cape, tumbling from the sky. Kara's lifeless body flipped over and over, as she tumbled - without any sort of order - towards the ground below.

"Oh my god," Lena breathed aloud. "She's going to hit the ground! Someone needs to stop her! She's descending too quickly!"

“Supergirl!” Alex screamed in a hoarse voice, just before the blonde crashed into the concrete with all the force of an asteroid falling from space. The result was catastrophic. Alex and Lena helplessly dropped to their knees as the earth shook so hard that they couldn't ride out the shockwaves. The truth was, there was no way that their weak human bodies could possibly counter the force of the impact. Alex threw her hands over Lena’s head in a sudden act of desperation, attempting to shield her from the chunks of concrete and dirt that had been kicked up into the air as they subsequently began raining down on them. Some of the chunks of concrete that were falling from the sky were the size of refrigerators. Alex turned her head, looking halfway down the block in horror. She actually flinched as she saw the crater left by her sister’s body. Alex coughed as she breathed in the dust into her lungs, and she heard Lena’s choked breaths as she did the same.

“You okay?” Alex asked her.

"I -" Lena hesitated, as she struggled to do a quick check of her faculties. "I think so," Lena nodded wordlessly, then panic struck her as her eyes found the crater.

“We have to get out of here,” Alex told her as she tugged Lena back to her feet and started pulling Lena away from the scene. "It's not safe for you here. We have to go! Now!"

“No,“ Lena protested, as Alex continued to drag her along. “Alex, wait! We can't just leave!" Then, "What about Supergirl? She needs our help!"

"I know you must think me callous," Alex breathed, "But I promised her that I would get you out of here safely, and so that's exactly what I'm going to do!"

"Alex-"

"I know what you want me to do, but I can't... I can't break my promise, Lena," Alex told her. "She's on her own, now. We - we have to go." This was honestly the hardest thing Alex had ever had to do, leaving her sister like this. But a promise was a promise. She couldn't let any harm come to Lena. And she knew that Lena's name was at the top of Reign's list. Reign wanted to kill her. 

"We can't just leave her!" Lena shouted, as she wrenched her arm from Alex's grip.

“Lena-“

"She's your friend!"

"For Christ sake!" Alex snapped, "You don't know the half of it! You have no idea what she means to me!" She couldn't take it anymore. She'd never wanted to tell Lena the truth more than she did right now, simply to get her to understand. 

"Alex-"

"Why?!?" Alex snapped shortly, "Why in the _hell_ do you _care_ what happens to her?" Alex bit back. "You've made it blatantly clear these _last few months_ that she's no friend of yours, Lena."

"No," Lena stuttered. "That's not..." Lena shook her head. She was struggling to organize the chaotic thoughts that were suddenly in her head. "Look, I was hurt. Okay? And I may have said some things that I didn't mean. But I _never stopped_ caring about her. People underestimate me, but I care, Alex, I really do."

"Lena," Alex's tone faltered. She could see the pain on Lena's face. For the first time, she understood where Lena was coming from. She instantly knew that Lena was telling the truth. Lena loved her sister.

" _Please_ ," Lena's voice cracked. She didn't know what she was pleading for exactly. But she was desperate to make things right somehow. “It's my fault she's hurt,” Lena breathed, “I would recognize that signature anywhere. Reign had one of my creations. Something I created was used to hurt _her_.”

“Hey,” Alex gently grabbed Lena by the shoulders so that she could meet Lena's quickly misting eyes. "Hey, it's not your fault. Okay? You couldn't have known she would-."

"But she warned me!" Lena said with tears burning in her eyes. Her voice sounded beyond broken as she said,  "Supergirl warned me, Alex. She told me what Kryptonite could do. She told me what it was like for her when it was around. And I...I _did what I did anyway._ " Alex's expression softened as Lena's voice broke. “Oh god,” Lena gasped, as she took in the destruction she'd caused. “What have I – What have I done?”

"Lena," Alex sighed. 

"I was so _angry_ ," Lena admitted. "And I was _hurt_. I - I trusted her, and I felt so betrayed when I found out what she did." Lena said as she squeezed her eyes shut, and reached up to wipe away her tears. "But what I did? What I did was so much worse."

"Lena," Alex spoke impatiently. She knew their time was short. She needed to get Lena out of there.

"She actually apologized," Lena said. "She begged for my forgiveness, over and over and _over_ _again_ , in just about every way that you can possibly beg," Lena spoke in a broken voice, "and I was so cold to her, simply because I felt betrayed. I actually compared her to my mother. I told her that we weren't friends, that I had people in my life who would never do that...even though I knew how much she still cared about me and wanted to make things right.  And now? Now I realize that, if anything, _I_ should be the one begging _her_ for forgiveness." 

"Lena," Alex spoke. "We have to go! Now! Look, I know that you're hurting. And I know how hard that this must be for you. But we have to go now. Okay?"

 _If only I could trust you_  
_Rest your head and turn the light on_  
_If only I could wish your kiss was not a falling star_  
_If only I was yours, the shoulder that you'd wanna to cry on_  
_If only you could pull me safely through these prison bars_  
_Oh if only_

Meanwhile, halfway down the street, Kara came back to life with a agonized, heaving breath, as her lungs feebly attempted to rake in as much air as humanly possible after having it knocked clean out of it by the impact of her body with the earth. Involuntarily, Kara writhed on the concrete, as the overwhelming pain that surged through her chest and the rest of her as a result. She couldn't believe how much pain it was causing her to simply breathe - how much torment she had to fight through just to keep existing. 

Kara's eyes snapped open for the first time since closing over a minute and a half ago. She coughed, her whole body shaking as it protested against the pull of the muscles in her ribcage. She couldn't stop writhing. It was as if she were searching for a position that would make the pain stop, or at the very least make it better. But she couldn't. Kara fought her instincts, and fell still. For a long moment, Kara lay motionless at the center of the crater, struggling for breath. She could hear Reign begin to stir from somewhere off to her left. The other Kryptonian was only feet away from her, groaning in pain as her body, too, lay in near ruin.

Kara felt a surge of panic rise up in her, as she became aware of the other woman's presence. This wasn't over. Not by a long shot. Sure, they might both be too badly injured right now to continue the fight, but Kara had no doubt that Reign still intended to kill her.

Unfortunately, at this moment, Kara couldn’t even contemplate moving, because the pain was that overwhelming. Blood rushed through her ears with every pound of her thundering heart, and she could scarcely make sense of anything that was happening. She was hurt. She was hurt _badly_. For the first time in over a minute, Kara couldn't take the pain anymore, and her throat opened up as her her vocal cords betrayed her. Kara let out a guttural and almost visceral groan between her gasping breaths, and the groan - the pained sound - shook Alex to her very core.

Still, Alex couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief as she realized her sister was still alive.

"Supergirl?" Alex spoke in a panicked voice. But her words fell on deaf ears. The truth is, Kara still couldn't hear a damned thing apart from the steady monotone ringing in her ears. 

Kara slowly and carefully started testing the function of her limbs. First, it was a curl of her fingers and toes. Then a twitch of her forearms. Slowly, and methodically she checked for motor function, then sensation. It was slow, arduous, and agonizing work, but Kara needed to do it. She needed to know what she was still capable of, and what sort of injuries she was dealing with. Fortunately, she wasn't paralyzed. She might have some broken bones, some internal bleeding, but she could move. And if she could move, then theoretically, she could still fight.

Reign's own struggles, somehow made Kara feel a little bit better about her own.

After all, the Kryptonian next to her was still trying to get up off of the ground and was failing just as miserably as Kara. She hadn't escaped injury either. Kara still had a chance.

Now that she knew her limbs were much or less in tact, Kara tried to move, wanting to get farther away from the woman who she knew could easily kill her in her weakened state, but the hero immediately regretted her choice, screaming out as a wave of dizzying pain shot down from her spine, through her legs, and into the tips of her toes, jolting the muscles in excruciating intervals. Kara screamed in agony, swearing as the pain became too much for her to cope with.

Kara glanced over to find Reign was rolling over and shifting into a crawling position on her hands and knees. She felt a jolt of overwhelming fear when she realized that Reign still had more than enough means to kill her.

Kara’s body finally got the adrenaline it needed, as it grappled with the danger of the position she was in. Reign honed in on her, quickly closing the distance between them. Kara's body entered fight or flight mode. It was exactly what she needed. Somehow the fear drove her to action.

Kara shot up off of the ground, enough to block the Worldkiller as Reign threw a series of punch towards her. Kara recoiled away from her aggressor, as Reign whipped out a shard of green Kryptonite, and Kara instantly felt the energy zapped from her. At the very last second, Kara threw up an arm, in order to put a stop to the knife’s progress towards her body, using her forearm as a block. The next sounds that left Kara's throat were almost animalistic, as she strained against the brute assault. She put all of her muscle into stopping the knife's progress, and still Reign was gaining precious millimeters. It was an epic struggle between two gods. Even with Kara's newfound mortality, Kara still had the heart of a hero. And she was not about to give up. She fought as hard as she could. Kara nearly screamed herself hoarse, as Reign changed her attack and Kara felt the  sharp bite of the knife as it sliced deep into the flesh of her forearm. It not only drew blood, but opened up a torrent of it. Kara screamed loudly in pain, as her veins simultaneously caught fire. A torrent of red began to soak through the sleeve of her Supersuit and drip onto her below, splattering her face and neck, and the crest of her Supersuit beneath. Still, that was the least of Kara's worries. She was very aware that she was fighting for her right to live. Kara grunted as muscles all over her body strained and tightened under her current duress. Sweat dripped down into her eyelids, causing them to sting.

Kara fought back; and although her range of movement and ability to fight back was severely hindered, she was still strong and strong-willed enough to defend herself. She kept fighting. Finally, against all odds, Kara gained the upper hand and the knife’s forward progress was stopped completely. Kara rolled away, pulling and twisting Reign’s hand backwards. She forced the other woman's arm into an unnatural position, causing Reign's hand to involuntarily jerk open. With luck, the green shard came free and Kara kicked it away. It skidded across the uneven ground, a long way out of reach. The blonde dodged another punch, and Reign let out a feral cry as her knuckles struck the unyielding concrete beneath and split apart.

Unfortunately, this was where Kara’s luck ran out. She could barely cry out as the stronger Kryptonian punched her hard in her side with the fist of her other hand. The pain was unlike anything Kara had ever felt before, and left her crippled and gasping for air. It didn’t take long for Kara to realize Reign had gotten her kidney. She followed up with another assault, driving her fist deep into Kara’s solar plexus, and effectively knocking the air out of her completely. Before Kara could recover, she was assaulted again.

It wouldn’t stop.

In the blink of an eye, a pair of hands was suddenly wrapped around Kara’s throat in a suffocating grip. Instinctively, Kara’s hands darted up to her own neck. She tried desperately to prize the other woman’s hands away from her throat as she gasped for air, but no matter how much she clawed at and pulled on the flesh of Reign’s forearm, she couldn’t seem to pry the Kryptonian’s hands from her flesh. All of her efforts were futile. And Kara was afraid. She was afraid she was going to die.

“Alex,” Kara choked through her collapsing airway, “Alex, I’m hurt. I can’t – I can’t do this. She’s... killing me.”

“You can!” Alex spoke with utmost conviction, and Lena’s eyes searched the brunette’s face. “You _can_ do this, Supergirl. I _know you can_. I - I _believe in you_.” Then, frantically, she added, “ _Please_ … No one else can stop her. It – It has to be _you_."

Kara coughed as her lungs struggled to pull in enough air.

"Do you remember what I told you before all of this started?” Alex questioned.

"Yeah," Kara grunted, each word was choked off to the point of being unrecognizable, but somehow Alex understood her. "Yeah I do."

"I told you that if _anyone_  was strong enough to lift the weight of the world onto their shoulders and hold it, it would be  _you_ ," Alex spoke from the heart. "Kar, you're the strongest person I've ever known. The truth is, I think that it's why your parents sent you here. They _knew_ that earth needed you. And they knew that Kal-El and the earth would be safe in your _trust_."

"But what if they were wrong?" Kara said in doubt.

"They _weren't_ ," Alex shook her head. " _You can do this_ , Kara. I would stake _my life_ , and the lives of everyone else on this _planet,_ on it."

Lena gasped as she took in Alex’s words. Alex eyes flew to Lena’s face as she realized her fatal mistake. She’d called Kara by her first name.

“Lena-“ 

“You... called her Kara,” Lena said with tremulous voice.

“L-Listen,” Alex floundered.

“She was lying to me?” Lena suddenly looked even more devastated. “She was lying to me this whole time? Kara is really _Supergirl_?!”

“She wanted to tell you the truth, but you were already so distrustful of her that she was afraid if she told you that you would cut her out of your life completely. She didn’t want to lose you. She _couldn't_.”

“That’s why she was always defending her intentions,” Lena breathed. “It's why she took Supergirl's side over mine.”

“Look, she _knew_  that she seriously messed up,” Alex argued, “But to cut Supergirl out of your life over one single mistake only proved Kara’s worst fears were possible. It proved she was going to lose you _either way._ ” Alex swallowed. “It made her want to be selfish. It made her want to hang onto you for as long as possible, even if it meant that she had to lie to you to do it.”

“Alex-“

“My sister is not above human emotions, Lena!” Alex said angrily. “Okay?! Look, I know the rest of the world has put her on some sort of a pedestal, but Kara has emotions and _fears_ just like anyone else. And for her to lose the one person that means the most to her? After already losing _everything_ she’s ever known? It was too much to ask.” Lena recoiled as she realized how true Alex’s words were. "She couldn't face it." Alex sighed. "Look, I'm sorry that you're hurt. I'm sorry if you feel betrayed, but she was just trying to protect you. She's only ever tried to protect the people she cares about. And she's sacrificed everything in order to do it."

Kara’s words crackled in Alex’s ears and she let out a roar of frustration. “Damn it! I’m not getting you anymore, Kara. You have to try again!”

“Please,” Lena’s voice was small as she grabbed a hold of Alex’s arm. “How do I fix this? How do I make this right?!”

“By making sure my sister knows that she hasn’t lost you,” Alex pleaded. “By making sure that she knows that you still love her. Give her something to fight for. _Please_...she needs it now more than ever.”

“Give me your ear piece,” Lena demanded. 

But Alex couldn’t do it. Not after she heard Reign’s words crackling through it.

“How does it feel?” Reign hissed. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to die… to slowly suffocate as your entire body screams for the breath it cannot take. I mean, look at you! You can’t even beg for your life, can you?” Kara choked and gagged, gasping for air that would not come. She was not able to breathe, and Kara knew that she could be facing death. This thought caused her to fight back and struggle that much harder. With a great deal of force behind it, Kara brought her knee up into Reign’s stomach. Reign winced, but did not loosen her grip. If anything, the hands around her neck clenched tighter around it. Kara’s vision blurred, as the back of her head was slammed unforgivingly against the ground beneath her once, twice, then three times with sickening force. The stronger woman had a vice grip on her, and Kara could do nothing but brace herself for the impact. Then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. 

Kara relaxed as her vision blurred into swirls of nonsensical color. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen before, but in a way that was beautiful. Her heartbeat roared in her ears, for several frantic pulses, before her hearing went altogether – and all sound was just _gone_. Overwhelming fatigue took over, making her body feel as if it was detached from her mind somehow. Reign let her go and she dropped back to the ground with a resounding thud. Kara lay there, completely lifeless (for lack of a better term), scarcely comprehending what Reign’s agenda was now that Kara was completely helpless. 

“I’m going to make you watch as I take _everything_ from you, Kara Danvers. I'm going to make you watch as I take away the only people who have mattered more to you than yourself,” she told her. Kara watched her lips move, struggling to make out the words. Kara reached up to her ears, in a daze. They came away damp, and Kara held them up in front of her eyes for inspection. They were coated in red.  

She followed Reign's gaze, as it honed in on the two people in question. Then everything hit Kara like a punch to the gut. Sam knew Kara's weakness. She knew exactly how much Kara loved Lena Luthor and Alex Danvers. 

 _Why, Alex?_ _I begged you! I begged you to get her out of here!_

Kara could see a glint of green light through the waning light of the eclipse as Reign pulled another shard from its sheath. She knew that by the time Alex and Lena realized that Reign was headed their way, they wouldn’t be able to do anything, and Reign would kill them. Before she could even think about the matter a moment longer, Kara pushed herself up from the ground. She could no longer feel her own body. Shapes and colors all blurred together, making the world around her indecipherable. But somehow, Kara could still sense where Alex and Lena were. She sped after Reign as fast as she could go. Kara put everything she had left into her last flight, chasing after the Kryptonian as Reign threw herself at the two people Kara loved, with intent to kill. Kara let out a roar of a scream, one full of pain, one full of fear, as she sped towards the pair halfway down the block. She knew without a doubt that she had to save them, even if it meant sacrificing herself in the process.

J’onn had once told her that Kara had a gift. He once told her that she had the strength to make the impossible choices, and she had no doubt that this was the right one. She’d never be able to live with herself if something happened to either one of them. But more importantly, she’d made a promise to protect Lena. And she would do that – she would honor that promise until her last breath. 

“Lena!” they heard Kara’s shout before they saw it. Alex and Lena’s eyes snapped towards the sound.

Lena stiffened as her eyes found the figure in black, coming at them with a speed that should have been impossible. Alex didn’t even have a chance to make a sound as she was thrown backwards by the impact of Reign's body against them, and rolled across the ground with the sound of snapping bones. Lena tried to make a sound, but it was all for naught. The hand squeezing around her throat choked and silenced the sound that tried to leave Lena’s throat. Lena’s feet left the ground, dangling helplessly above the concrete.

“I told you that I would rip out your spine, as vengeance for what you did to me,” Reign told her, and Lena gagged, as she fought for air that wouldn’t come. All Reign had to do was squeeze a little harder and she would snuff the life right out of her.

Lena's eyes darted to the left. Guardian was lying on the concrete mere feet from her, lifeless and powerless. He’d been knocked unconscious in the first few moments of the fight, and it was sad she was about to die with him so close-by - unable to do a thing. Lena had quickly discovered that James’ strength was nothing in comparison to Reign’s or Supergirl’s.

“And I _told_ _you_ that I would _never_ let that happen,” Kara’s voice thundered as she zoomed towards them. Air was pushed out of Lena’s lungs, as Kara slammed into them with all of the force of a car, injecting herself into the space where Lena and Reign had existed the moment before. Lena was airborne for a moment before gravity took over and she crashed to the ground, with the crippling snap of breaking bones. Lena tumbled and rolled over the pavement, wincing as the friction of the roughened concrete as it scuffed the flesh of her exposed hands, and tore fresh holes in her all black tactical uniform. For a moment, Lena helplessly writhed on the ground in pain, wondering how Kara could have done something so careless, but then she sees it - the eerie green glow of the short sword in Reign's hand. Reign had been a fraction of a moment from killing her. And Kara hadn't had the luxury of planning her point of attack. She'd been forced to be careless in order to save Lena's life.

Lena's eyes quickly find the red of Kara's cape flapping in the wind. She's never really let herself admire how majestic it was, how it flowed and billowed around Kara so perfectly in the wind. Still, now was not the time to be focusing on such things.

Lena can do nothing but watch in horror as Kara and Reign tumble over the ground, sending cracks and chunks of concrete flying with the impact of their bodies. There was a flurry of movement, an epic struggle between the two heroic figures as they continued the fight. Most of their movements are too fast to be made out properly. Lena could see limbs flying, their bodies colliding against one another over and over again, as they each throw and deflect punches at unprecedented speed. Kara seems to be doing well enough for herself, but soon enough Reign wears her down. The balance shifts, and Kara loses the upper hand. The only sign that something is wrong, is the singular and unparalleled sound of agony that suddenly fills the air. It hits Lena like a ton of bricks.

Lena’s eyes flash towards the pair as they finally still, desperate to make out the source of the sound.

Her eyes widen in horror as Lena finds the last thing she could have ever imagined. Kara is on her knees, with Reign's arm wrapped around her neck. Kara's eyes are widened in shock.

Kara feels dizzy. At first she thinks that is simply because she hit her head during the struggle. But then it becomes obvious that something larger is at play. Kara's heartbeat thunders deafeningly in her ears as she glances around. Her eyes dart around rapidly as she struggles to make sense of what is happening. She feels strange. Something... Something is wrong, _very_ wrong. Only, Kara can't quite figure out what it is just yet. Her thoughts are no longer ordered and precise like she's become used to, but instead they are all jostled around. Kara is left grappling for an explanation. A white-hot pain in Kara's chest has her reflexively reaching for it, as she seeks to localize the pain. Every nerve ending in her body feels like it's on fire, and Kara wants...no _needs,_ to put that fire out.

A grunt escapes her lips. Thickly, Kara swallows over the large lump in her throat as her hand encounters dampness. And somehow, she already knows what she will find when she pulls her hand away from her Supersuit. But absolutely nothing can prepare her for the sticky, viscous, and crimson substance now coating her hand as she levels it in front of her eyes. Kara's hands shake uncontrollably under her own studious gaze.

" _Oh_ ," Kara thinks in a fit of surprise as it all becomes blatantly obvious. 

Lena can scarcely believe it, as her eyes take in the jagged shard of Kryptonite protruding from Kara’s chest. The blonde had been impaled from behind. Reign releases her and Kara drops forwards, catching herself on her arm. She struggles there for a moment, before pushing herself back up to her knees. The look of resulting shock on Kara’s face, has tears falling from Lena’s eyes. Lena watches helplessly as Kara reaches up to her chest. Kara's hands claw helplessly at the flesh around the Kryptonite, as if she's trying to pull it out of her own body. But she's too weak. 

And Lena can't bear to watch anymore, as an expression of defeat sweeps across Kara's beautiful features.

“No…,” Kara whispers in frustration as she tries desperately to get to back her feet without making any large, abrupt movements. She grunts, nearly screams as she shifts and a white-hot pain shoots down her left arm. Instinctively she reaches up to grab at it, as she rocks back and forth on her knees.

"Kara!" Lena cries out in anguish. She knows Kara can hear her, because Kara's features tighten a little in response. But Kara doesn't look at her. The fact is, she _can't_. She can't face the woman she loves right now. “I told _you_ …that you could never beat me, Supergirl,” Reign taunts in a demonic voice. “Just admit it. You’ve lost.”

“Do you have any last words, Supergirl? Because if you do, I highly recommend that you speak them now,” Reign chuckles as she grabs hold of Kara’s arms, in a steadying grasp - lest Kara topple over and die, before she can get them out. “You don’t seem to have much time left.”

Kara struggles. Her jaw works furiously, but she can’t seem to produce any sound. Lena watches as blood leaks from the blonde's mouth and dribbles down onto the pavement in front of her.

“Well?” Reign looks pleased with herself.

Then, Kara shocks her. Kara opens her mouth and laughs. She laughs, and laughs, and _laughs_ \- and the sound chills Lena to her very core. It’s the sound of someone who has nothing left to lose. 

“You _still_ think you’ve won,” Kara tells her.

“That’s because I have,” Reign boasts.

“No,” Kara says with a determined look on her face. "No, you _haven't_. _Not_ _yet_."

"Please," Reign scoffs. “I’ve taken _everything_ from you, Supergirl,” Reign argues, “Just admit it. Your world is _mine_.”

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you?” Kara breathes, “An opponent with nothing left to lose, is the most dangerous opponent there _is_. You may have killed me, but what you have yet to realize is that you’re _coming with me_.” And then Kara pulls with all her might, tugging Reign into a fatal embrace. Lena hears the terrible squelching sound of the Kryptonite sliding home, and hears Reign’s surprised gasp, as the Kryptonite pushes deep into her own heart, severing her major arteries and ripping the vital muscle to shreds. Kara struggles with her for several frantic moments as Reign struggles to free herself, but Kara uses her last remaining ounce of strength to see it through. In fact, she holds on until Reign completely stills in her grasp.

Kara clings to the other woman, until the sound of her opponent's heartbeat stops altogether, and Kara is one hundred percent  _sure_  that she's dead. Then Kara uses the rest of her strength to push her away, and Reign topples to the ground. Lena can't choke back the gasp, as she finds the result of Kara's last effort.

Reign’s eyes are open, but the light in her eyes is gone. She’s dead. Kara has somehow defeated her.

 _I took your crown of thorns_  
_Laid down to be reborn_  
_If only_  
_I wasn't flesh and bone_  
_I could rise up from being stoned_  
_If only_

Kara finally lets go then, as the degree of trauma catches up with her body. Lena can do nothing but watch in horror as the blonde tumbles downwards toward the concrete. 

Kara barely has any time to register what is happening before she nosedives straight into the concrete, and the air is subsequently forced out of her lungs as she hits the ground. _Hard_. She's completely still. Lena can no longer detect any movement.

Lena lets out a groan another half a second later, as she feebly attempts to move for the first time. She knows that she's got broken bones, due to the amount of pain she's in, but she's also desperate to go to Kara's aide. She and Alex are sprawled on the concrete a half dozen yards from where they’d been just a minute before. 

Lena's muscles ache with the exertion, but she ignores it. After all, nothing else mattered apart from getting to Kara. Nothing else mattered but _her_. My god, if something happened to Kara, Lena would never forgive herself. Kara had seen what she hadn’t, and had saved her life. Thoughts race through Lena's mind, countless memories that bombard her, and begin to play through her mind like a mini-movie. It all plays out in rapid suggestion: from the first moment they met, to the first time Kara had saved her life, to the first time Kara had surprised her with her sensitivity, thoughtfulness, kindness, and loyalty. Each thought, each memory, spurs Lena on. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

"Kara?" Lena groans through the pain, hoping to get some sort of response from her.

Lena watches, as Alex pushes herself to her knees.

“Kara?” Alex calls out in a tremulous voice. They’re both too aware of how the blonde’s figure isn’t moving. Kara hasn’t moved at all in the last few seconds, and Lena is afraid. She's desperately afraid. Slowly, the gears start turning in Lena’s mind. Fear is surging up inside of her.

Kara should be moving. She knows the blonde should be moving – should be breathing. Lena pushes herself up onto shaking limbs, just as Alex does the same. Lena tentatively takes one step, just testing her legs' ability to hold her own weight. Then she takes another, and another.

Lena loses her momentum, and her will to move, when Kara's cape flutters in the wind and she sees the faint green glow through Kara’s cape. She has a terrible feeling about what they’re going to find, and her mind cannot even begin to fathom it. The emotional pain overwhelms her. A whimper escapes Lena’s lips as she realizes what has happened. Alex seems to know, too. 

“Kara,” Alex calls out again. Her voice quavers in unmistakable pain as she steps closer to her sister. “Damn it, Kara, _please_ \- Please answer me!”

Alex reaches the blonde first, and carefully turns Kara onto her back. Lena stops breathing as the sight is revealed to her for the first time. By killing Reign, Kara had ensured that the shard of Kryptonite cut deeper into her own chest. There was no doubt in Lena's mind now. Kara was going to _die_.

Kara groans then, a thoroughly desperate and inarticulate sound, as the shift in position sends another wave of pain hurtling through every nerve ending in her body.

Kara whimpers, and the sound pulls at Lena in ways that she can't explain. It's like a wounded animal, crying out in pain.

Kara’s chest feels like it is on fire, and the best Kara can do is take rapid shallow breaths that make her want to scream out with each one. She lifts her knees upwards, as if to hold in the warmth and ease the pain. Her body shakes uncontrollably as she feels the rest of her strength leave her. She is left feeling unbelievably cold. In fact, it feels as if she is in the middle of a blizzard with no hope for shelter. The only warmth Kara feels is from the red, sticky substance streaming out of her body.

Kara watches as Alex’s eyes find the Kryptonite impaled through Kara’s body. Its placement is ominous. Alex knows that no one could possibly survive it, not even Kara.

The blonde gasps for breath, trying to hold on through the pain. She feels as if her heart and stomach are gone, and in its place there is nothing left except for absolute agony. Kara’s breaths are ragged, coming in infrequent gasps, as her hands feebly wrap around the shard.

Tears leak from the blonde’s eyes, and spill down her cheeks.

She can no longer handle the pain. Every molecule in her body is on fire. She’s got glass in her veins, and it is tearing her apart from the inside out.

Kara’s eyes find Alex’s face, watching in almost slow motion as the most agonized expression takes over the brunette’s face. From the look in Alex’s eyes, she can tell that her sister knows how bad it is, and it’s not good. Alex looks so broken in this moment that Kara feels as if she is breaking along with her.

“Kara?” A tear slips down Alex’s cheek and drips down onto Kara’s face below, as Alex gently caresses her face. 

“How bad 's it…?” Kara tries to whisper, but she can do little more than make guttural noises.

“Hey, you’re going to be fine,” Alex tells her a heartbeat later, and Kara feels her heart break.

She knows that Alex is lying. She knows that she’s just trying to give her some semblance of peace in her last moments, but Kara _knows_ she’s dying. In fact, she's _close_. She's very close to death. Kara can almost  _feel_ her family's welcoming embrace as she steps out into Rao’s light once more. 

Kara tries to crack a smile as she says, “You’ve always been a terrible liar,” with a gravelly voice. 

“Kara,” Alex can’t hold back the sob anymore. She’s afraid that she’s going to lose the person that means the most to her. After all, apart from Maggie, Kara is the person she feels the closest to. Their bond is unparalleled, and Alex doesn’t know how to live in a world without Kara in it.

“Take it out,” Kara pleads, as blood gurgles in her throat. “ _Please_ – just pull it out.”

“I _can't_. If I do, you’ll bleed to death,” Alex tells her, as a look of excruciating pain takes over her beautiful features, contorting them. “You’ll _die_ , Kara.” 

“Come on,” Kara whispers, sounding beyond defeated. “We both know that I’m already _dead_ ,” Kara breathes, choking on her words, “Let's face it. I’m on borrowed time now.” Alex watches as more blood seeps from Kara’s lips, and dribbles down her neck, before finally dripping to the pavement below. “It’s okay, Alex. I know you’re afraid, but you can’t hurt me any worse than I have been hurt already.” 

At that precise moment, Kara feels like she might be able to move a mountain. Only, she knows that before long that feeling will be gone. She closes her eyes for a long moment, taking a deep breath. Only she feels like she is hardly breathing. 

Her body wants more oxygen, always _more_. And Kara? Kara is so _cold_. The concrete feels like ice underneath her, sucking up all the warmth from her as her blood continues to spill out around her.

“It’s not okay,” Alex cries. “God, Kara. _None_ _of this_ is okay.”

“ _Please_ ,” Kara begs her, “Please just pull it out. It _hurts_. It hurts and I... I can't take it anymore.” Alex doesn’t know how she ever gathers the strength to do so, but she tears a scrap of fabric from her own sleeve. She wraps that scrap of fabric around her hand, and takes hold of the Kryptonite in her fist. She almost flinches as her fingers brush over Kara’s as she does so. This is so hard. It's the hardest thing that Alex has ever had to do, but she knows that she has to. She has to do this...for Kara. With a strong grip, and using all of the strength that she has left, she pulls. She lets out a feral scream, and Kara screams with her as she feels nothing but the searing white-hot agony that is left in the Kryptonite’s place. The shard slides out of Kara's chest like butter.

Kara’s chest lifts from the concrete as the shard momentarily resists and catches on one of her ribs, but Alex keeps pulling and Kara's back drops back to the ground as her ribs give over, and Kara is finally freed from it. Alex lets out a roar of a scream as she tosses the shard away from them, as far as she possibly can. Tears stream down her face as she realizes that Kara’s death is imminent.

The glowing Kryptonite shard soars through the air, before it finally drops and shatters against the pavement a fair distance away. 

“Alex,” Kara cries out, as she reaches out for her, needing the comfort of her sister’s embrace in her life’s final moments. Alex lets out another sob as she grasps Kara’s hands in her own. “ _Please_ \- There’s so… much I have to – to say,” Kara’s voice falters. Alex sees the light in Kara’s eyes flicker. She knows she’s losing Kara, quickly.

“I know,” Alex tells her through her own tears. “Me too. I love you so much, Kara. Look, I know you're scared, but I promise you that this is not the end for us. I _will_ see you again, even if it’s not in this life.”

Alex's voice is nothing more than a mellow drone in the back of her mind, as she looks up into familiar doe-like brown eyes. The sudden rush of sensations leaves Kara confused, as her body suddenly becomes hyperaware of everything around her. She can feel the energy leaving her now, as if it were being sucked away and was dissipating into the air around her. Lights and colors blur together as Kara is left struggling to form words. In a fit of fear, Kara struggles to push herself off of the ground, but she doesn't make it far before Alex is pushing her back down against the concrete.

"Easy," Alex soothes, "Easy. Just... Just _relax_."

"I'm scared," Kara hates how childlike her words sound, as they spill from her mouth.

"I know," Alex can't hold back the tears, as she sees that fear echoed in Kara's eyes. "I know you are. But you're not alone. I'll be with you the whole time. I promise you."

"To the end?" Kara questions.

"To the end," Alex promises. 

"Rao," Kara says as she continues to shake almost violently. "It's cold. I'm so cold."

"That's the shock," Alex tells her. "Here, let me try and make it better." Alex yanks off Kara's cape and drapes it over her, as if to block out the wind that is buffeting them.

Kara is so grateful that Alex seems to know exactly what to do. Alex lifts Kara's feet from the concrete, and wedges something beneath them, trying to increase the blood flow to Kara's head as she is catapulted _into_ and _past_ the first phase of shock. Alex strips off her jacket, then, and balls it up over her fist in compact mass. Then she pushes her jacket down over the wound, applying as much pressure as she possibly can.

Kara can't help but scream out, as Alex's hands forcibly press down like a white-hot iron on the left-hand side of her chest. Still, it's like trying to plug a gaping hole with a band-aid. Alex knows it's a futile effort. Kara is going to bleed out, and there's absolutely nothing that Alex can do to stop it now.

So much blood is seeping from beneath Alex's hands as she futilely and feebly tries to stem the blood flow, but she seems completely unbothered by it. Kara closes her eyes, wanting to drown out the deafening sound of voices and cries filling the air around them. 

Kara was growing so _tired_.

Alex seems to sense this, because she says, "Kara?" 

"I'm sorry," Kara apologizes, her words slurring slightly. She sounds almost inebriated as she says, "I'm just so _tired_."

"I know," Alex breathes, "But I need you to keep fighting. I'm not ready for you to leave me yet."

Her body quavers on the concrete as Alex continues talking to her, trying to get Kara to hold on for just a little longer.

Alex looks up as Lena drops down on Kara’s other side. The blonde’s eyes are glassy now. There's life in them, yet, but that light is fading fast. 

“Kara?” Lena can't fight the tremble in her voice.

Lena wants to touch her. In fact, she starts to reach out for her, only to hesitate at the last possible moment. Lena can’t fight the sobs that are building within her. There are so many things she needs to say to Kara. But she doesn’t know how she could ever begin to say them. She’d been so horrible to her as of late, only to discover that she’d made a horrible mistake. Kara was going to die because of something she’d done – something that Lena swore she’d done for the greater good.

Usually, Lena wasn’t afraid. But as she watched the life drain out of the woman lying on the concrete beneath her, she couldn’t have begun to tell you just how afraid she was of losing the only person that she’d ever really loved. 

Lena wishes she could go back and change it all. She wishes she could go back and tell herself what was at stake.

But pride had always been one of Lena's greatest weaknesses. It was her fatal flaw. She was too easily wounded by others' words and actions. And she had a hard of a time trusting those that were closest to her. Supergirl had been no different. It was almost as if Lena had been waiting for the opportunity, to be able to point to a specific instance and say, 'See, I knew you never really trusted me. I knew you believed that I was as untrustworthy as the rest of my family.' And so when it happened Lena jumped on it. She used it as an excuse to cut one more person out of her life, even though she knew Supergirl still cared about her and was sorry for what she did.

Of course, Lena knows that she shouldn’t have lied. And god, seeing the look on Supergirl's face when she had told her that they were no longer friends nearly broke her resolve. But she hadn't let herself listen to reason. She hadn't listened to her heart. And now? Now she would give anything to go back and change it. Because she can't bear the thought of losing her now.

Part of her thinks that she always knew the truth, but that she just didn't want to see it. Because to admit that Kara and Supergirl were the same, also meant admitting that she didn't really know either of them at all. And even Lena's mind, with all its spectacular abilities, couldn't quite seem to figure out where Kara Danvers ended and Supergirl began. How could Kara love her and trust her so, when it seemed like Supergirl was always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Could Lena love one, while being angry at the other? Or did she have to exile both?

No. No, that was stupid. She couldn't help how she felt about Kara. And despite the fact that Kara might have lied about some pretty major things in her life, Kara was still the same person. She was still the kind of person who would do anything to help a friend. The kind of person who saved cats in trees, and fought for the good of all. Kara was Kara. And Kara was the woman that Lena loved.

Lena had no doubt in her heart. She was in love with _both_. 

And the truth is, Lena no longer knows why she's spent so long denying her feelings, when they're so glaringly obvious to her now in the heat of the moment. Maybe it's because little things have a tendency to show their true value in the face of obliteration. It was easy to be able to see something's true value, when faced with the opportunity of having nothing at all. Still, Lena was still far too broken, and had too much healing to do.

Maybe that is why she'd pushed Kara so far away, when realistically she knew she'd been in love with her for as long as she can remember. It was because Lena just couldn’t risk losing her friendship. Kara meant too much to her. She always would. And now, because of her own stupidity, her own inability to trust, and her inability to let the people she cares about in, Lena might lose her before she ever has the chance to know what it feels like to be with Kara. Lena might lose her only chance at true happiness.

God, she knows that it sounds selfish. I mean… there she was, watching Kara bleed to death under her, and Lena couldn't help but worry about what it meant for her. The fact is, that if Kara doesn’t make it, that she feels like she will die with her. Because somehow, over the last three years Kara has become her everything, and Lena really doesn’t know how to be herself without her. After all, Kara has taught her so much about herself. But more importantly, she’s been the one constant in Lena's life. Kara has always stuck by her side, no matter what mistakes she’s made. And sometimes? Sometimes she seems to know Lena better than Lena even knows herself.

“Listen, she's losing a lot of blood,” Alex tries to keep her voice calm as she speaks to quietly and calmly to Lena. “Her... Her pressure is dropping fast. I need you to try and get her to hang on until J'onn can get here. Just... keep her up and talking, okay? I’m trying to apply as much pressure as I can, but I... I can't stop it.” Lena nods, in order to show Alex she's with her, but the truth is, Lena feels like she's in a daze. Her hands are shaking almost violently as she gently takes one of Kara's icy hands in hers. She kneels forwards, trying to hold Kara's eyes. She is so scared that she's going to lose her.

"Kara?" Lena tries the blonde's name in a gentle voice.

Kara's breath hitches. There's a spark of recognition in icy blue eyes, but Kara is barely present.

She can feel it. She can see it now. She's losing the love of her life. And there's nothing worse than knowing that there's absolutely nothing she can do to stop it.

Kara expels a weak breath as she wills her body to relax. Sound is severely distorted now. It is so _strange_. She can hear Alex talking to someone, but her sister sounds so far away now.

Kara feels like she is watching everything happen from far away.

"Kara?" Lena's voice quavers, as she tries to get Kara's attention for the second time. But it's a struggle. Kara seems so far away from her now. And the distance is growing with every passing second. Kara's being pulled away from her, and much as Lena's trying to cling tightly to her, it's a futile effort. "Hey," Lena's voice is thick, as she tries to grab and hold Kara's attention. "Hey, I'm here, Darling."

 _You could see through someone like me_  
_Tryna be free, maybe just a little less lonely_  
_Oh I was so lonely_  
_If only_

“Lee?” Kara’s voice is nothing short of a whimper. 

Kara tries desperately to ignore the pain. And as time passes moment by moment, Kara is able to focus less and less on the pain in her chest, and more on the fatigue that is overtaking her quickly. 

Kara groans in protest, as she feels someone shaking her over and over again in small intervals, trying to keep her awake.

Alex moves out of the way as Lena leans down over Kara, her body hovering over where Kara’s breaths are growing few and far between. 

“Shh, Darling. I’m right here,” Lena announces, as she gives Kara’s hand a squeeze. The familiar voice seems to register somewhere in Kara's mind. Although it isn't until she sees the familiar emerald-green eyes that swim into her vision, that Kara realizes that it is Lena that is with her now. She lets out a ragged breath as she reaches up to caress Lena's pale, but beautiful face. 

Kara studies her expression carefully. It is rare for the younger Luthor to appear so rattled. And yet, Lena looked absolutely devastated.

Lena looks like an angel, though, hovering over Kara in the waning sunlight.

"Hey," Kara smiles at her. It's an innocent smile, a genuine smile. It's the kind of smile that only someone like Kara could give her. It's almost optimistic and hopeful in the face of overwhelming fear and defeat. The fact is, that smile rips Lena's heart to shreds. Even after everything, even after all of the horrible things Lena has said and done lately, Kara still cares about her - still loves her, and it breaks her heart. She can't help but think that she doesn't deserve Kara's love, and never will.

Lena laughs. It's a wet sound, a broken sound as she fights the tears that are threatening to fall. 

Kara's eyelids flutter closed, remaining shut for a few moments before they blink back open. Kara is still breathing, though, so Lena's not too worried.

"Kara?"

"I'm... sorry," Kara says weakly. "I'm really sorry. I'm just so tired."

“Hey,” Lena tries to say in an even and calmed voice. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay? Just... don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Lena's voice breaks at the end.

Black seems to encroach on every dimension of Kara's vision as she struggles to stay conscious.

Kara can't seem to keep her eyes from drifting closed. She feels at peace, knowing that Lena is there with her.

All Kara wants now is for the pain to ease, so she can drift off into a calm peaceful sleep.

"No," Lena says in a panicked voice. "No, Kara, you can't go to sleep. Not yet." Kara just shakes her head.

"Please," Lena says desperately, "Open your eyes." But Kara doesn't listen.

"I'm losing her," Lena tells Alex with panic in her voice.

Alex pushes down harder on Kara's chest, more determined than ever to stop the bleeding. She isn't going to let it happen. Alex wasn’t going to let Kara go.

Kara shifts helplessly on the concrete, and nearly screams as the action worsens the pain exponentially. Another grimace takes over Kara's beautiful features, and it breaks something inside of Lena.

“I know. God, I know. I’m sorry,” Lena apologizes gently, “I know it hurts.” Even with her eyes closed Kara must hear the helplessness in Lena's voice, because she opens her eyes again, and tries to reassure Lena, without so many words, that it is going to be okay. Never mind that Lena is the one who is supposed to be reassuring her. Kara continues to struggle to breathe. Lena can see Kara's chest, faltering as the blonde struggles to breathe in and out. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Kara's eyes close as she struggles to pull in air. All she wants now is to go to sleep. She's so tired, that it's overwhelming. It practically consumes her every thought.

“No,” Lena's voice quavers traitorously, as she reaches out and shakes Kara gently with her hands. “Hey, I need you to stay awake. I need you to stay with me. So just stay with me, okay?” Lena pleads as she traps Kara's hands against her face. Her voice is so devastated that it's barely loud enough to be detected as she speaks to Kara for the first time since their fight all those weeks ago.

Alex can see the tears cascading down the other woman’s cheeks, and she knows Lena is falling apart like she is. 

“J’onn,” Alex speaks into her communications device, “J’onn, it’s Kara. She’s dying and I need you. _Please._  I need you to come quickly. She doesn’t have much time left.”

Lena's touch is gentle as she frames Kara's face gently with her own hands, looking deeply into dimming eyes. Kara can't stop the gasping coughs that wrack through her body, as she tries to take in a breath, only to feel like she is suffocating. Her mouth opens, and Lena flinches as a fair amount of blood pushes its way up past her lips.

Kara is choking to death, and there is absolutely nothing Lena can do.

"Kara," Lena's voice breaks, "Kara, _please_."

Lena can see that every breath is taking a monumental effort. Kara is struggling against the inevitable. She's growing closer to losing her with each passing second.

Each rasping breath is a struggle, and Lena can see that Kara is doing everything she can do to cope with the catastrophic damage to her chest cavity. She can see the agony in Kara's expression as the blonde grits her teeth together in order to prevent the screams that might have otherwise escaped. 

Kara doesn't take her eyes away from Lena's. 

Lena's light green eyes made her look like a sea goddess. And if she was being honest, her beauty took Kara's breath away. Kara only that wishes she didn’t have to leave her.

Lena can't stop the tears now. They're coming whether they want them to or not. And she can't hide them from Kara either.

"Lee, why... why are you crying?" Kara asks. It seems like such a strange thing to ask, when Kara has a chance to think about it. 

"Why?" Lena repeats in incredulity, "Why am I - God, Kara! Do you really not know?" Lena can't hold back the sob that bursts forth. "God, why?! Why did it have to be you?" Lena doesn't know how to give voice to the pain she feels at losing the one person that she loves most in this world. Losing Jack had been hard, but to lose Kara? To lose Kara was _unfathomable_.

"I'm sorry," Kara says with an earnestness that breaks Lena's heart further. "I'm so _sorry_. I - I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I was  _scared_. I was so scared of losing you."

"Kara-" Lena's voice softens. "I'm the one that is sorry. I - I'm _so_ sorry. I have been so awful to you. And now you're dying and it's my fault. It's all _my_ _fault_."

"No," Kara croaks. She denies this _vehemently_. "No, it's not.  _None_ _of this_ is your fault, Lee. That's... that's  _impossible_. Okay? What happened tonight was put into motion so many generations ago, on a planet tens of lightyears away. _My people_ are the ones who created the Worldkillers. You? You played no part in it. If anything you're the one that saved Sam, and the entire world with your genius."

"But I gave Reign the means to kill you," Lena argues.

"She would have found another way to kill me," Kara tells Lena sadly. "I think that this...this was always  _my destiny._ It's why my parents sent me here. They sent me here to stop it."

"How can you - God, what are you even saying?" Lena is baffled by Kara's words. She doesn't want to admit that Kara was always supposed to die. She doesn't want to admit that she's really about to lose Kara for good. Then Kara's eyelids flutter closed, and Lena panics. "No, no I refuse to believe that. You had a choice! You could have let her kill me. You didn't - You didn't  _have_ _to die_ , Kara." Kara shakes her head.

"No," Kara speaks in a hoarse voice. "You don't understand. I - I couldn't let you die. I could never just let you..." Kara's words cut off with another harsh cough.

“Why?” Lena can’t help but ask. “Why save me, Kara? When it meant you had to die in my place?” Lena’s voice breaks -  _cracks_ on the vowels of the blonde’s name. Her tears fall down onto Kara’s face. 

Kara’s hands reach up to Lena’s face, palming the woman’s cheeks as she whispers her final words,

However, Lena is all too aware that the blonde’s words are not in English. They are in Kryptonese. 

Alex has heard of people reverting to their native language during their final moments, so she can’t say that she’s all that surprised. But she knows that Lena will not understand them. 

“Kara, I don’t – I _can’t_ understand you,” Lena says in a choked, panicked, and broken voice. She desperately needs to know Kara’s last words. She needs it with every fiber of her being. Because if god was really going to be so cruel as to take Kara from her, then she at least needs Kara’s words to live by. But Kara doesn't hear her. Kara continues to babble on in Kryptonese, wasting her words on deaf ears. “Damn it, Kara, I don’t know what any of those words mean!” Lena cries out in absolute frustration, as tears fall from her eyes. Kara’s eyelids flutter as the blonde fights with everything she has left for these last few moments with her. “ _Please_ ,” Lena sobs desperately, “ _Please, Kara_!”

Kara continues to speak, but this time Alex is able to catch what it is the blonde is saying. She translates it for Lena. 

“She says that she made you a promise.”

“No!” Lena shakes her head adamantly. She denies Kara _this,_ though she could never deny Kara anything. “ _No_ , Kara! You were supposed to stay here. You’re supposed to stay here with me! That’s all I wanted. You _promised_   _me_ that you would always be here.” Kara says something else in response.

“She couldn’t let anything happen to you,” Alex breathes in nothing short of pain. “She says that if this is the price that she had to pay in order to keep you safe, then so be it.”

“No!” Lena was angry now. She was so _angry_. How did the blonde not understand what she was doing to her? The only person that Lena had ever truly loved was dying – was leaving her. Kara was about to abandon her in a way that she promised she never would. “I need a real answer from you, Kara! Why!? _Why_ did you do this? How can you _possibly_ leave me here like this?” 

“Because... _you_... are my Kryptonite,” Kara finally tells her in english. The words are severely garbled, but Lena is still miraculously able to pick them out. There's so much blood in Kara's airway that it's interfering with Kara's ability to speak. “You asked me what my Kryptonite was. It's  _you._  The truth is, it’s _always_ been you, Lena. I have - I have loved you for so long. I crossed countless light-years in order to find you. You’re my _family._  You’re the one that I _choose as my own_.”

“Kara?” Lena feels her entire body shake, as the blonde’s words shatter what is left of her heart. Lena begins to hold the side of Kara's face, in much the same way that Kara is touching hers. “Kara, you’re my family too. You _know_ you are. Just _please - please don’t leave me like this_. Stay with me, okay? Just stay here with me, and I promise you that we can be a family.”

"You have...no idea...how much I want that," Kara rasps, in two to three words at a time. "But we... both know... that I've overstayed... my welcome already. It's time.. for me... to go now. My father... the rest of... my family... is waiting." 

“Kara?” Lena watches something flicker in Kara's eyes. It is almost like a light going out, and the shadows left in Kara's typically bright blue eyes nearly scare her to death. She knows that she has to say it now, or Kara will never know, “Kara, I... I need you to look at me. Look at me” Kara's eyes drift closed for longer intervals. “ _Please_ ,” the depth of emotion in her voice has Kara's eyes opening one last time. The crystalline, vivid, and stunning blue eyes leave Lena's head spinning as she gazes deeply into their depths. They were seemingly bottomless. “I…I need to tell you something,” Lena confesses. "It's - It's _important_."

“It's okay. I - I already _know_ ,” Kara manages to choke out, though it is barely audible. “Don't let this break you. I - I want you to be happy. Please try and be happy, for me?” 

"No," Lena sobs, "No, _Kara_. Please don't leave me like this. I can't... I can't do this without you!"

“You can. Hey, you’re... going to be fine,” Kara breathes, while stroking the sides of Lena’s face. “Alex will take good care of you. She’s a good sister. You’ll see.”

“No,” Lena says as more tears drip down to mix with the blonde’s below, “No, _don’t_! Don’t you dare leave me, Kara, _I mean it_! I - I love you. Just don't leave me like _this_.” Lena lets out a roar of a cry as Kara’s hands fall away from her face, tumbling back onto the concrete below. She watches in nothing short of disbelief as the blonde’s chest stops rising and falling. Lena watches the light start to leave Kara’s eyes.

“Kara?” Lena tries. "Kara?" she tries again in a small, uncertain voice, as all of Kara's musculature goes limp at once. She strokes the side of Kara's face, hoping against all logic that she will be able to bring Kara back around somehow. But Kara is gone.

"Lena," Alex's voice breaks, as she reaches for Lena's shoulder, only for Lena to shrug Alex's hand off. "Lena, we have to go."

"No!" Lena shouts back at her, as if Alex is heartless for even suggesting such a thing. "No, I'm not leaving her!" Lena sobs harder, as she shakes Kara's shoulders. "She would never leave me." 

"I'm so sorry for this," Alex tells her honestly, before she grabs Lena from behind. "I know you're never going to forgive me for this, but I have to do this."

"Kara!" Lena screams like a child who has just lost their mother, as her body is tugged backwards, and away from Kara’s own. She fights against Alex, as the brunette pulls her away from Kara’s lifeless body, with her arms wrapped tightly around Lena’s middle. Inch by inch Lena is dragged further away from Kara. “No! No!” Lena’s screams are hysterical.

 _If only I believed that was true_  
_We'd be living all the dreams in a house with a view_  
_If only, if only you knew how the voices of demons could drown out the truth_  
_Now my one place of freedom is sleeping with you_  
_If only, if only you knew_

“I’m sorry,” Alex breathes over and over again, as she activates some kind of shield around the two of them. “I’m so sorry, but J’onn has to take her now.” Alex lets out a sharp breath as Lena drops to her knees on the concrete, watching helplessly as J’onn pulls out a syringe filled with a glowing orange substance. It has a long green needle. In fact, it's so large that Lena’s eyes grow wide as she sees the size of the needle for the first time. She’s always hated needles, so it is horrifying to her as she sees the size of it. It is a good three inches long with a wide diameter. It is nearly as wide as a pen.

“What is he doing?” Lena asks her in horror. “No! NO! Don’t – Don’t touch her! Don't you _dare_ touch her.”

“He’s trying to save her,” Alex tells Lena as she continues to struggle against her. "It might be too late, but we have to _try_."

They watch as he lifts the syringe over Kara’s heart, and then brings it down with a forceful blow. The needle plunges deep into Kara’s chest. The blonde comes back to life then. A loud, feral cry tears its way free, as pain rips through Kara’s chest and down her left arm, sending her well over her tolerated pain threshold. Kara thrashes on the concrete, as fire seems to rip through her very being. It is almost enough to make Lena sick. She watches helplessly as tendrils of green creep up Kara’s neck towards her face.

“I’m so sorry for this,” J’onn tells Kara in a gentle, fatherly voice, as he pushes down on the syringe, injecting Kara with the full dosage of radiation. For a moment, Kara doesn't really understand what he's sorry for, but then -  _then_ _she_ _does_. Kara lets out another roar of a scream as the pain begins multiplying threefold. Kara’s heart starts racing as her left arm twitches in protest, fighting this new fire tearing through every micrometer of her blood vessels.

Whatever J'onn had injected into her, was making the pain worse, and not better. Once the full dose was injected, J’onn quickly withdrew the syringe and tossed it away.

Sweat quickly began to cover Kara’s body, as she fought against the tremors making their way through her every muscle.

Lena watches in nothing short of horror while Kara’s back arches off of the concrete, before Kara lets out a sound that does not seem quite human. And Lena can see the blonde’s chest rise and fall, as if the substance was forcing the life back into her against the blonde's will. A faint orange glow starts to permeate the blonde’s skin, as if a fire, a spark were being ignited at her very core. 

“I'm sorry, but I have to take her now. Before we unleash a nuclear meltdown in downtown National City, the likes of which have never been seen before on this planet.” J’onn tells Alex as he meets her wide brown eyes. Tears flow down Alex’s cheeks. She gives him a single resolute nod, as she keeps a tight hold on the other woman in her arms.

“Take her,” Alex orders, her voice cracking under her emotions. She knows that she will never be able to see her sister again, and the pain of that loss is worse than anything she's ever experienced, even losing Maggie. She watches helplessly as J’onn lifts Kara’s lifeless body into his arms and takes off into the night sky. He leaves a pool of blood behind, and Lena’s eyes quickly find it. 

“She’s going to die,” Lena tells Alex, as she feels her body rend itself in heartbreaking sobs.

“No,” Alex shook her head. “No. There’s hope.”

Lena’s eyes fly to Alex’s own. “I designed something that might be able to save her. It’s a radioactive isotope compatible with the radiation that fuels her Kryptonian cells. That’s what he injected her with. We think it might be enough to save her. It _might be_ _enough_ to counter the damage that the Kryptonite did.”

“What?” Lena asked through shuddering breaths. “Then, what are you waiting for? We need to go! Take me to her.” 

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Lena protests. "Of course you can. You're DEO, right? Let's go!"

“No!” Alex bursts out, grabbing Lena by the shoulder. “No, you don't seem to understand what I'm saying. Look, Lena, I’m... I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but - but we _can't see her_. We couldn’t make the isotope safe for humans. Okay? That's...that's what I'm trying to tell you. Any exposure to the radiation will kill you, or any other human that comes in contact with it. You wouldn’t be able to survive it. That’s why J’onn had to take her away.”

“How long?” Lena questions. “I mean, how long is its half-life? How long until I can see her, or touch her, or be near her again?!” Alex closes her eyes in defeat, before reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, as she lets out a long lingering sigh. She knows that the answer will ruin what little is left of Lena's heart. “Damn it, Alex, just answer the question!” 

“You’ll... You'll likely die of old age before that happens,” Alex, tells her honestly, “So will I.”

“No!” Lena cries in disbelief.

“But she’ll be _alive_ ,” Alex tells her as she struggles to calm herself. “And who knows? If we work together, maybe you and I can find some way to make it safe for her to come back again.”

* * *

Translation.

" _Khap vrreiahv vo zhindif throniv rr ip. Khap si zhadif fahtul tagehd pil rrip kuhs khap. Khap zhao rrip_."

"I promised to always protect you. I could never let something take you away from me. I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> I cried while writing this. I'm not even gonna try and lie about it. The parallels between Astra's death, and Kara's death absolutely wrecked me emotionally. I just started sobbing and I couldn't stop. 
> 
> Also, Lena's desperation to know what Kara was saying to her in the end, was devastating. 
> 
> I seriously don't know why I do this stuff to myself. But holy crap... did it hurt me to do this....
> 
> I'm sorry, guys. :'(


End file.
